“If outside validation is your only source of nourishment; you will be hungry for the rest of your life.” (anon. n.d)
I came about this quote yesterday, while mindlessly scrolling through instagram. As I do, I started to analyse the words I had just read and how they apply to me.
Now, I’m the first person to admit that I need validation (and I mean A LOT of it)- but I mean doesn’t everybody? There are days where I’m sure I drive my partner crazy with my constant need to be validated.
Over the past couple of months I’ve been trying to look into my world as an outsider looking in… this was not always a fun exercise as there were things about me that I didn’t particularly want to see.
I’m the person who drops everything for everyone- and I always have, to the point where I completely neglect my own needs and become completely overwhelmed and breakdown. Delegation is not a strength I possess.
I asked the question ‘Why? Why do I do this to myself?’ The answer I came up with is ‘I need to be needed’. Being needed validates my entire existence. Then something amazing happened… I had spinal surgery which has rendered me incapacitated in terms of physically doing anything for anyone… Has my world stopped? No! Am I still loved? Yes!
I’ve found myself in the most remarkable position where I’m happy to not be searching for that validation ‘fix’ to fill my constant hunger, and I must say, it’s pretty bloody liberating!!
BPD- A beautiful life. 